….Of course I have something to say about it. Okay here we go.
So once again it’s that time of the year where some ladies drop their last name, wave their families goodbye at a lavish party and then leave by nightfall to start anew with the guy whose last name they now bear and look forward to making and raising tiny little people who carry both their DNAs. In case I lost you am talking about marriage, weddings and babies. We clear now? OK lets keep it rolling. Don’t know about your country but in mine December is a major season for weddings and billion other celebrations. Some people are literally booked for events everyday till the end of the holiday. Yup,that’s how crazy this season can get. Well, lets forget all those other billion events and focus on ”cuffing” shall we?. “The wedding ring is the smallest handcuff ever made. Choose your cellmate wisely because you both are in for life”. With that in mind, I want to address both singles and newly cuffed people in this article.
So first of all if you are getting hitched, CONGRATULATIONS! That’s a big bold step and requires you to overcome all your fears about life and its unsure nature and just trust completely in love and your partner.You have, so drink to that champ! Now lets talk business. I’m not married so don’t know a whole lot about what you are to expect once this new life begins but well here a few things i think you should take note of
Don’t get caught up in the wedding and forget about the marriage.
I’ll like to quote my mum on this one. She always says ” Everyone will gather, eat, drink, dance and be happy for you but when the night falls , the lights go out, the music stops and everyone goes home. That’s when the wedding ends, and the marriage begins.” That celebration is just a day, your marriage is the rest of your life. Don’t be too focused on one and forget the other.
Enjoy Your Day, You cant control every thing.
You are getting cuffed with someone who makes you feel alive and happy. That is all the reason you need to have a good time and enjoy your day. I know it can get so stressful with planning and making sure everything is perfect but you know what, a little ‘crappyness’ always makes a great story later. You will laugh later about how you flipped when the caterer was running late or when your little niece broke a tray of glasses. Dance, laugh and be happy with your friends and family. Moments like this will become rare once you have a family of your own to cater for.
Marriage is a union of three people; You,your spouse and God.
You know all those aunties and uncles from the village or abroad or God knows where? Yea, their opinions don’t really count in your marriage. All those friends, cousins, and in fact your entire family tree have no control over a union that God has blessed. You have a problem with your partner talk it out with him/her, pray about it and seek professional help and counseling if need be. Unless you are maybe in an abusive situation you can tell someone or reach out for help. Others suggest you talk to other people and maybe seek advice in times of crisis. Well I say talk to a professional, because trust me even your bestie has their own bestie and that’s exactly how your private affairs become public knowledge.
OK, we get it. You’re Married.
On behalf of all the single ladies …. hahahahaha I will like to remind married ladies that your not better than any other woman because you no longer bear your dads last name.And contrary to popular belief, some ladies are actually OK with being unmarried. Yes we know it has its perks and all that but just some people are actually OK that way. And some are still searching and waiting on God so when on your wedding day a lady says congratulations to you, no need to reply saying, “Don’t worry hun, your time will come”. Duuuuuuhhhh!!! I Know already. My time will come. So,I beg sister just reply “Thank You” and lets all just get along.
……And Now to the Spinsters and Bachelors.
Well to the single population I just have a couple of things I’ll like to say to you all in light of the cuffing season.
Please, Do Not Crash Any Wedding For Whatever Reason!
Don’t mean to sound like a broken record and please I know the struggle is real….. very real and if your annoying aunt ask you one more time when you are getting married you will snap but sweetie, that’s no excuse to crash every wedding around you hoping to hook up with a potential husband or wife. Sister! Brother! trust me that moment when you will be held up at the entrance by some huge looking guard because you don’t have an Invitation, even your potential husband/wife will laugh and pass you by because that scene won’t be pretty for you and nobody wants the number of the girl or guy who was held up at the entrance for crashing the party. We don’t want that to be you now do we?
Relax and enjoy your life, you both will get there OR the right one will find you.
You don’t have to drag your boyfriend or girlfriend to every wedding to make them see firsthand that your friends are getting married and your still waiting for them to look towards the altar. Marriage is forever and that’s a long time. You need to pray and do not rush love or life. Marry for the right reasons, marry your best friend, marry someone whose ideas you will like to see in your kids, marry for love because every other thing like beauty and wealth fades but real love changeth not. (hehehhehe my inner voice is yelling”preach On Pastor Love”). Not saying its OK for a guy to keep a relationship for 5 years and more with no sign of the aisle. Oga, na PhD of Character Supervision you want? But am saying that if there is progress from you both and effort towards that direction then don’t rush it, let love run its slow but deep course and you both will get there. Here is what i believe; if you love someone and if it is meant to be, though it may take some time and little hurdles too, but you will do whatever it takes to be with that person. You will be patient, understanding and kind so that in the end You will say “It was all worth it”. So in the meantime, enjoy your relationship, laugh often and worry not, Your last name will change when God sees that you are strong enough to handle marriage and build a home.
Like I said am no counselor or specialist, just a young observant lady who likes to share her thoughts with amazing people like you. Am particularly excited this cuffing season because for the first time am going to be a bridesmaid and also for the first time a maid of honor.So am really looking forward to this experience and who knows next cuffing season I partake in, I just might be the bride. hahahahahahaha … I see my friends reading this and rolling their eyes but yes, i said it. HAHAHAHA!!But Darling, till then I’m living, laughing, learning, and loving life and I highly recommend you do the same. You.Yes You!!!