“Being single is bad; very bad. For girls being single means you can’t find or keep a man or you are too picky. For the guys; being single means you have commitment issues or you are sexually reckless” – Society
Society has branded being single with so much negativity especially if the single person is matured enough (whatever that means these days! Smh). Well I have a different perspective of the single life be it by choice or by circumstance. Here we go!
Being single means nothing like society brands it. Let me address single ladies first because for some very sexist reason they are the ones who seem to get hit hardest by the society’s wave of negativity. First I want to applaud you for not “settling” for anyone just because you want to be in a relationship and put up pictures on social media like everyone these days. You are strong and know your self-worth enough to hold on till you find someone you want to open your heart to. Personally, I view being single as a period of deep thought and self-growth. A time to learn to love yourself and like your own company because the fact is nobody will want to love you if you can’t love yourself. If you have been through a bad breakup or a series of breakups, I think being single gives you time to heal and work on your “relationship self”. Most women always blame breakups on men but I mean how many of us ever admit our own flaws and assume our part in a failed relationship? Well, ask yourself all that when you’re single and find answers so that you will be better in your next relationship.
It’s OK to be a little picky too. I do not see any fault in a grown woman setting standards for herself and not being mediocre. However, being too picky and sticking to “your type” when you’re single can most likely lead to you being a 50-year-old with seven cats, two pigs, three dogs, a poultry and no life. My point is; look around you. You always stuck to your type right? Well if you’re type was working out OK for you, you wouldn’t be reading this post with a smile because you wouldn’t be single. It’s time to branch out; look for more in a guy, rather than probably your dream height, chest size, bank account size or ehhheeemm (clears throat) size! There is more to a man and a relationship than all that, find it! Not saying you should go for a guy who is officially broke and has little or no potential. That’s a NO from me. I mean 60% of marriages and relationships break down due to money problems. Jesus died for our sins, that’s true love expressed in giving, hahahahahaha. So whether you are rolling your eyes at me right now, that’s a fact. As a guy you should be able to spoil your Bae a little and girls abeg abeg, no rule states anywhere that it is a guy’s job only. Spoil him too as much as you can, and I don’t mean your “coochie”. He already deserves that. Plan a date, get him gifts for no reason, just spoil him. I believe in the potential of a man more than the size of his current bank account. Yes, they are just some empty dreamers but find a dreamer with a working plan. See the potential in him coupled with hard work and support him. I bet you when he graduates from “soaking garri” to five-star restaurants, he will respect you more than if you just walked into all that cash.
Love when you are ready, not because you are lonely. I know it gets really lonely especially if you are single due to circumstance and not by choice! Oooouf been there and know that feeling but that is why you have friends and a family to fall back on. I pray you have some crazy friends in your click (Hey Besties!). If not, change your click and try again. Hahahahhahaha! Go out with your friends, read a book, start a course, flirt with some cute guy at a bar for the fun of it (Mum please don’t read this. Lmao), learn a skill, doll up for no reason and remember happiness is an inside job.
Hey hottie single guy! I guess you’re living it up with a couple of chicks that are OK with the “no strings attached” clause. Well if you are that type of single guy, this isn’t for you. If you are the kind who has been hurt and is single because you are trying to find your strength again, “Hi Handsome!” Contrary to popular belief guys get very hurt too after breakups. They invested time and probably money in a girl they loved and it just didn’t work out. A failed relationship will hurt a guy’s pride first then his feelings second. Yup! Pride is such a big deal to them. First I respect you for not “living it up” with different girls every weekend because census says girls are more than guys. Define what you want from a relationship and a then find a girl. Flashing your money in a bid to get a girl will only get you a girl who probably want you only for your cash and I bet you, you will be single again once she finds someone who pays better.Try showing her the “real” you. Let her love you for you.
If you are not ready to get back out there, that’s OK too! Invest in yourself then. Get busy with work or school or whatever that you need to do as a man in order to assume your God-given role as a provider and guardian for your family when its time to have one. Please don’t go round breaking hearts under the cliché that some chick broke yours. You will just earn yourself more tears to your name coupled with curses (hahahhahahah) that may be effective if the girl you hurt cried out to God earnestly and cursed you. (Lmao OK it may not be that deep but I’m just trying to scare you to get you to save my sisters the hurt, Hope it’s working). Just do not take out your hurt on other females, you and them deserve better.
Being Single can be a matter of choice or circumstance; either ways make the most of it. Careless about what people say or think of your life and relationship status because whether you’re single or not, people always have something to say. It may become less fun to some people as they get older because the need for a companion and probably a family of your own may increase with age thus increasing worry and anxiety but pffffff still live your life, enjoy every moment of it, have a move for every song and invest sooo much in yourself so that when the time is right for you and God, you will be very ready to receive your blessings. Can I get an “Amen up in here!!!!!!